Today’s topic is a dear one to me. Being confident in your own skin. I get the “You’re so confident” or “I love your confidence” compliment all the time. At least I think that people mean them as compliments. I honestly don’t really care for them. Let me explain. I usually don’t see smaller women being told “Oh I just love how confident you are about yourself”. This is coming from my own observation. So when I hear it or I see it going on with a bigger girl, I can’t help but think…what the fuck else is she (or me) supposed to be? HOW are we really supposed to feel about ourselves?
These conversations just come off to me as a backhanded complement. I see you are confident when in reality you shouldn’t be, and I admire you for that. Maybe I’m just being petty. Who knows. But telling me that you see my confidence doesn’t sound like a compliment to me. Me loving myself and every inch of my body shouldn’t be abnormal. I don’t need your kudos for flaunting my boobs on a low cut top without wearing a bra. This is just me loving myself. Nothing to see here lol.
And the journey to self love is a tough one. Some days are easier than others. But the easiest days are the ones that I literally don’t bother to think about anyone else’s opinions. If I like something I wear it. I don’t compare myself to other people and I don’t talk shit about myself either. It’s really about shifting your mindset and letting go of the idea that you need to look like you’re about to audition for a role on Love and Hip Hop (or some other ratchet show filled with surgeries) lol
The expectations of what a woman should look like are just straight up ridiculous. I’m all for do what makes you happy, but if you don’t love yourself and your body now, you’re not going to love it after you lose weight or get the work that you wanted done.
Start giving yourself compliments. And most importantly stop measuring your worth based on other’s people’s opinion of you and or the way they treat you. You are amazing because you are amazing, your worth has nothing to do with other people’s actions!!!!!
And there is absolutely nothing wrong with loving what you got. Every roll and every stretch mark.
I’m honestly not here to tell you how you should feel about yourself. Just more so to say that someone who doesn’t fit the standard of beauty (whatever this may be) shouldn’t be expected to pity themselves. So go out there and love yourself girl. In the words of J. Cole “Love yourself, girl, or nobody will”.